problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
