By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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