Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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