News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Did we literally take a cab across the street
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
