smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
