Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
