Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
