im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she peed on how many people?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
