oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
