MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
