Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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