I got chris browned last night
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
