i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
