Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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