For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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