my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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