In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
