dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
