The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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