How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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