So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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