Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
