I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
