Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
