its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
this hospital has no fireball
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
