Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
