Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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