Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
