Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
