Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
