can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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