You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
