So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
