Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
