HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
