Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Small penises have feelings too.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
