so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
