I want to make a zoo with you.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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