I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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