Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
