Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
