The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
