respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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