went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
