All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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