dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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