Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
