just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
