no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
