Tell her she can't have a vagina
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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