and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
